Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: etcetera, Feelings, Thoughts, Work Experience
And Rob says you love, love, love and then you die,
I’ve watched him while sleeping and seen him crying with closed eyes.
And you’re not happy but you’re funny, and I’m tripping over my joy.
But I just keep on getting up again.
I have a funny feeling I need to start listening to some happier songs before I end up doing myself in. Just as just comes on. Día dos has been good. Only three days and four nights to go until Friday. It isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Although, i’m in one of those states where I don’t know how I feel. Which sounds odd, I know. But I can’t really put a finger on it. The more I think about it, the more confused I get. I still have that incomplete feeling, but I don’t feel as bad about it anymore. It’ll be gone soon. It’s just a week. MT really winds you up sometimes. It’s okay.
What else? Oh, yes. Work Experience. It was definetly an experience. The first person I taught was a kid of about thirteen. And she was a bit different. She wanted to learn how to play Bring Me The Horizon. Not being the most ‘down wiv da youuuttth’ of people, I looked them up. I knew a lot of the goffs listen to them.. So me and Lynn went of their website to see the kind of stuff they play. Expecting something like Cradle Of Filth, we were greeted by a sound that can only be compared to a pig being slaughtered in a brothel. It was terrible. We couldn’t tab it, (mainly because it isn’t music- it’s noise!) and she had never heard of Oasis.. After trailling about looking for something to play, we ended up playing Death Cab. A big contrast between ‘rawrghhh’ and the soppy romanticness of Death Cab. Then we went down south, where I gigged. It was one of the best days ever. Met some new people – James and Lee. They are the coolest people ever. James is sixteen and Lee is only fourteen, but they’re seriously the coolest people i’ve ever met. We went on the beach, and made this massive sandcastle. It was the uber sandcastle. Lynn took a photo of it which i’ll probably post tomorrow. We found some crabs.. Not the ‘no-no’ kind as Lee calls them, but the little red scuttling ones. We put them on either side to guard it. They both go to an Academy though, which sucks a bit because it’s all the way in Arnold, I think. But i’ve got James’ number so hopefully we’ll be able to jam again soon.
Tomorrow i’m teaching all day. I’m in from 10 – 11:30 preparing, and then i’m there from 3:30 until 7:30 actually teaching. It should be good. So long as there is no more ‘ripping out of entrails’ music.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Hurry-up-tomorrowness, Music, Suckage, Thoughts
Jour Un -
It hasn’t been amazingly bad. It was le crap this morning, and I haven’t been able to get this hollow, rumbley feeling out of my tummy all day. That’ll go with time though. It was le crap this morning because I overslept and didn’t have time to finish cleaning all of my room. (Which is what I do when my usual routine stops, panic and clean everything around me.. Represents a fresh start. Or perhaps the onset of OCD.)
So yeah. I tidied obsessively, read for a bit and listened to music. Napped, due to said cleaning and lack of energy. I think this massive pidgeon is sleeping in the top of my window. He gets up really early in a morning and tweets really loudly through my window. Then I wake up, go see what all the commotion is about and he flies off to the tree among the other birds and tries to act natural. As if I don’t know it’s him. I have a big, big urge to watch Narnia. I don’t know if you have to have watched the first one to get Caspian. (…)
Tomorrow is the beginning of work experience. Peter has to go to hospital so i’m going from three thirty until seven rather than ten ’till twelve. Which is good, because I don’t do mornings at the moment and I fancy going for a really long run in the afternoon.
When everything is lonely I can be my own best friend, get a coffee and the paper, have my own conversations..
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Five nights to go. J’ai un rhume..
I’m sorry that it has been a while. I’ve neglected this a bit lately. So recently, i’ve gotten in touch with my inner goth past. I met up with Oliver and Josh, my two closest friends from Holgate, and introduced them to Sarah. It was an experience. At first it was a little awkward, because I always considered Holgate to be seperate from Ashfield. Mainly because i’ve changed so much, but it was fun. Especially nice to catch up with them.
Sarah goes away for a week tomorrow. Eeek. I won’t go much into that though, because i’m feeling rather sentimental at the moment. ‘Fragile’ as my Mother likes to put it. Speaking of which,
:’]]]
Anyway, I will start updating more frequently. For now I think it’s time for bed.
Filed under: Uncategorized
-mutters something inaudible about Jon reading this-
Okay, so. Not a lot has happened recently. Today I finished my Silver Youth Arts award, finally. Did my reviews, looked back at everything I have ‘learned’, etc. Reminisced.. and then thought ‘fuck, i’ve got to do this all again for the next two years.’ Today I found out i’ve got to do it on the last week for two days..
Then, I finally got a deviantART. Mostly because I need somewhere to put all my crap, and by crap, I mean ‘art’. I’m not generally an artistic person, I doodle from time to time, but my scribbles resemble exactly that – scribbles. I’m more of a music and literature kind of girl. Not really much keen on photography either, not like the majority of the people who took Youth Arts. I mean, there isn’t much skill in taking an upside down photo of your face, which is half covered by hair, is there? I’ve finished now anyway.
(♥ Banksy)
Edit: My ipod went through the washing machine.. now it’s sizzling. I think it might explode.
It’s my new guilty pleasure.. It’s just so catchy.
Anyway, I have decided to start my music libarary all over again. I know it sounds a bit extreme, but I deleted all of my libary so I can get some more tunes. I didn’t really listen to most of it, and having OCD when it comes to the organisation of music.. I’ve chosen to restart. So if any of you (the six people that routinely vist, that are probably all Jon) have any suggestions on any bands or whatever?
I’m kind of in love with the new Coldplay album. Some of it, like Lovers in Japan/Reign of love, sounds very Arcade Fire-esque. Which adds up because apparently Chris Martin went to go and see them a lot last year.. How cool would it have been if he would of been there when we all went.
Sorry it’s such a slow post, I had loads to write earlier but it has all kind of slipped. Maybe i’ll edit later.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Life, Love, Meaning, Poetry, Show, Thoughts, Tuneage, Youth Arts
you-ology, me-ology, love-ology, kiss-ology, stay-ology, please-ology..
Yesterday was the variety show. It went a lot better than expected, and even the parts which didn’t go well were good. Designed the display, which took forever to make and put up, hardly anyone saw it which sucked. Had a massive battle with Photoshop in the Art rooms, but the most important thing was the amount of money we raised for charity. We’ll find out final figures on Monday, but I imagine it is around the £500 mark as before it even started we had £300.
I’m thinking about taking the Gold Youth Arts award next year. It’s a year early and equivalent to an A-level, i’m just not sure that i’m ready for it. I said that I didn’t want anything to stressing because i’ve got my exams next year, but it’s stretched across two years to reduce the workload, I suppose. I’ve also got to choose an area that i’m not familiar with. I could do dance, or dramatic theatre to completely tip the scales. Or I could do something more artistic like fine art or something in the visual arts. It’d get me into a decent University, especially if I ended up taking Philosophy and Ethics, Psychology and English Language & Lit. It’d mean I wouldn’t have to take something like Music because it’d be covered in my award. So then i’d have Arts, English, Science and Religious studies.
Love is so fickle, it’s starts with a flood and ends in a trickle..
I learned a very good lesson yesterday. In English we were talking about a poem called ‘Love After Love’ by Derek Walcott. Bell talked about being in a relationship for a long time, and how you forget yourself because you lose yourself in love. She went on to say that love will come and love will go, but you live and die in your own arms. And I think that one line has totally changed my way of thinking. It hit hard. At first I thought that she was just cynical and pessimistic. That love possibly, if you found the right person could last ‘forever’. But then, you think of yourself as nieve. I mean, i’ve only been in love once.. But i’ve been in a long term relationship twice. The thing is, your idea of ‘true love’ changes to fit around the person you are with. I always thought I was in love with the first person I got with, that we would last forever. We broke up, however, and a year later I found someone else and they totally changed my perception of love and it made me think I wasn’t so in love with the first person after all. So really, I think it’s about rediscovering yourself after a relationship has ended. I’ll post the poem so you can come up with your own conclusions.
Love After Love – Derek Walcott
I’m also a little in love with Tyler Burkum at the moment.. For now though, I need to finish my coursework. Happy tuneage.
Today was the rehearsal for the charity gig we’re doing on Wednesday. Despite the blistering heat and the fact that most of the acts weren’t ready, it went well. Actually looking forward to spending an extra seven hours in school. Other than rehearsals, today has been rather unproductive, had supplys for three lessons.. And no coursework. It’s mine and Sarahs’ six month anniversary today, which has put me in an ace mood. And today in English we’ve been analysing ‘poems’. I say ‘poems’ because they were more modern day songs than poems. Lots of Rihanna and stuff, which kind of sucked, although the Killers were thrown in there too.
I was watching a performance featuring Bjork earlier. I found this most peculiar instrument.. At first I just thought it was a flashy table. But this thing is like a big synthesiser. It’s called a ReacTable and it operates by turning these little rune thingys. Sounds like i’ve been playing too much Runescape..
That’s just a short clip anyway. I bet Trent Reznor has one. Maybe I could get one of those ‘give me moneyzz’ buttons for on here and eventually get one.. I wonder if that could be my chosen instrument for GCSE level Music Studies. Hmm..
I have this weird obsession with Metric lately.
Anyway, I found all of my old crap from my old school. By crap, I mean certificates for swimming and whatnot. But I found an old photograph of my class from Primary. It just made me think about how much things change and what they are all up to now. I had this incredibly huge crush on this boy called Troy. He was introverted, reserved.. And he was in the basketball team with me. We spent loads of time together, we even played Beyblades. I had this crush since I was about ten, all the way until we moved into secondary. Then he changed. He started to hang around with these people who weren’t exactly the brightest fairys in the woods, but their tracksuits glowed in the highstreet. If you get what I mean. He turned into a bit of a mong and we started to drift apart, until I moved away. People change all the time though, I suppose.
Change le sucks.
